Greetings sports fans and welcome back once more for that crazy little sports column called Vegas Valley Sports Beat. The fun little column that says NERTZ to the Coronavirus. Today is day number whatever it is in the progression of the total number of days that we’ve been on lockdown. Personally, I have not been keeping count because it’s just another day in the life at my house. And that’s a good thing, all things being equal.

It is sunny and partly cloudy today, but man is it cold. The weatherman says we can expect a high of around 82 degrees in the next few days. I for one certainly cannot wait for that. I work at home anyway so this isolation is nothing new for me. I’m not a caveman or a recluse, I just work at home now after decades of working in the field doing construction, and I love it to tell you the truth. I can’t get laid off because I work online.

Not everyone does however and we all hope that the people who work in the affected industries, food, travel, and hospitality services and so forth can get back to work soon. It may come to the point where you just have to say screw Coronavirus and take your ass to work anyway. Personally, I know I am probably going to get it like everyone else is and I smoke like a chimney. I am not really keen on waiting longer until I’m older or perhaps more vulnerable due to another illness being present when I do get it. I would just as soon get it and get it over with one way or the other. That, of course, is easier said than done. Nobody wants to contract it at work and take it home to Grandma and Grampa or to their children and or their spouse. Effective measures can be taken to ensure a safe non-infectious workplace where people can go back to work without the looming threat of contracting the virus.

There have been incidences reported of people with a remarkably bad sense of comic timing going around coughing, and fake sneezing in people’s faces as a joke. While other people are reportedly licking items in stores. I personally deplore violence, but, if someone comes up and coughs or sneezes my face in that vein I’m going to throw a can of something back in their face because that is called first-degree assault in the district court. Hitting someone in the face with a can of chili for doing it is called self-defense where I live. Just saying.
But I digress let’s turn our attention now away from the negative and focus on accentuating the positive.

The review you have been waiting for all your life is Here In Living Color now. Today’s topic is a review of the epic video game Deadpool from High Moon Studios, published by Activision in 2013.

I picked up this second-hand copy at the local GameStop and I was unsure of it at first but from the moment you push the start button it gets crazy and goes downhill from there but it is such an enjoyable ride to put it metaphorically.

The premise of the game is that Deadpool wants to make a video game but the producer he pitched it to said no way. So, by means of employing a little friendly persuasion and what sounded like a lot of C4 explosives, Deadpool convinces said producer to produce the game and then it takes off from there. Deadpool is so much fun I just could not believe it. I finally beat the game last night and now I’m going through it to try to beat it without dying once.

There are so many levels and passages, and bad guys, weapons, and chimichangas along the way that it is impossible to describe it all to you without this column going way too long. The layout of the entire maze is just wonderful, the graphics are incredible and the level of gameplay is phenomenal. As you progress through the game increasing your power and skills, so do the bad guys and the final battles are pretty intense. The key thing to remember is to run like hell. It would be most helpful if the counter-strike button was not the same one that Deadpool teleports with because that is a huge pain in the behind when you’re surrounded by winged Marauders and trying to counter their attacks and Deadpool teleports into a corner. That, or he gets stuck back in a blind spot under the trees in the final arena. That’s not helpful at all and the programmers advise you to “deal with it.”

It seems to be a matter of timing with the counter-strike or B button. If you do not counter fast enough then you teleport instead. That can admittedly be helpful but is not helpful just as often. So, again, when in doubt run like hell then turn and fight again.
To me, the most outstanding feature of this game is, of course, Deadpool himself. The wisecracks and funny features that are laced all throughout this game are guaranteed to keep you laughing the entire time right up until the final fight where it’s just you going one-on-one with Sinister the bad guy after you just whooped his butt like 20 times in a row when his clones attacked you. I won’t give away the spoiler alert but you will get a kick out of that final fight. Believe me, it’s a hoot. What did we learn from the bouncy castle? Deadpool always has an exit strategy.

I’m not sure how to rate this game. I don’t know what scale most others use. If there’s a standard I don’t know about it. When I started college for computer programming I wanted to program video games and this is the type of game and level of gameplay that I envisioned back then. Of course in 1982 that was impossible because it’s only just now becoming possible to make video games such as Deadpool. Two other good examples would be Red Dead Redemption 2, and Grand Theft Auto 6.

I am a big fan of this type of the first-person fighter and it is somewhat reminiscent of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. That is a game I did enjoy very much and one in which I whooped a lot of foot soldier butts on. I still kick shell with Mikey. I can still put the smackdown on Shredder. Old does not mean dead or dumb. On the contrary. The young hope to go there and do that while the elderly have been there and done that already. and have the T-shirt to prove it.

I can’t tell you how many levels there are in Deadpool because I didn’t count them but there are a bunch. As you travel through the game the landscape changes dramatically from one scene to the net. In one scene you have to get across a river of sewage like you’re playing Frogger. I died drowning in sewage several times before I finally managed to make the crossing. It’s not as easy as it looks.

And keep in mind that you will have Marauder clones coming out of the woodwork trying to kill you with a wide variety of nasty weapons and some of them are nastier than others. The creepy Mon Ami guys just walk up to you and explode which is a lot of fun in the final stage. You’ll see what I mean when you get to that point, Mon Ami.

My final strategy was to run like hell and like Horatio, I made a stand on the Bridgeway between two structures and prevailed. You’ll have to figure that out for yourself I don’t do spoilers. I can tell you that if you put the controller down for very long Deadpool starts making smart ass remarks about what’s taking you so long to find the cheat codes online.
Or he just stands there and scratches his ass. It depends.

I honestly have not had this much fun and laughed this much while playing a video game since Toejam & Earl came out on Sega Genesis. Some of the special moves that Deadpool can develop are really cool graphics and the bad guys are really badass. The bad girls are drop-dead gorgeous. Especially Deadpools dead girlfriend who makes a cameo appearance in one sequence of events and sends Deadpool on a mission to capture and retrieve 3 spirits in a beautiful underworld maze. This only after you go through a psychotropic mind-trip through a nightmarish rogues gallery funhouse to get there.

If I had to be stuck on a desert island and could only have one video game I would, of course, demand a rubber liferaft but if you are a big fan of Deadpool the movie; and who isn’t? If you like to fight your ass off killing bad guys and gals; and who doesn’t? Deadpool is definitely the third-person shooter game for you.

If you don’t like those things that’s okay too. Not everybody can be this awesome, but it would definitely make a wonderful gift for that gamer in your life that does enjoy the finer things in life and that would make you that awesome. Just not all that cool. There’s really no point in both of you suffering like that when clearly you should be doing all that suffering alone.

Deadpool not only has the main mission storyline but a section of challenges that go from bronze to silver, to gold levels. Each level ratchets up the difficulty and you can choose whichever one you wish at any time but you have to defeat the lower levels to attain the higher ones first.
If you go for the gold then you should be ready for the fight of your life, that’s all I can say. You have 5 minutes and you will be besieged by badass Marauders with guns and all manner of hurtful mechanisms. And they will be trying to hurt you with them, or blasting bolts of energy in your face. But it’s cool. The real challenge is the five-minute timer. It sounds easy but it’s anything but easy.

You have to really hand it to the Marvel Comics production team and High Moon Studios for the job they did on this game. I would love to see them do something similar to Venom. That would be totally badass.

For a game rating, I cannot praise this game highly enough. Whatever the highest rating is, Deadpool goes above and beyond that in my estimation and I’ve been playing since Pong was brand new. I consider myself to be an avid gamer. Twice I’ve shot 32 under par rounds on Tiger Woods PGA 13 and not by accident. I shot a perfect round in Dubai and I’ve beaten Hitman using only one player without dying. I killed everyone in the game. I hold the rank of Desert Ghost in Sniper Elite 3. I’ve beaten GTA5, Gears of War 2, Assassins Creed 2, 3, and Black Flag, and 007 Quantum of Solace. Just to name a few.

The point I’m making is that it does my heart good to see the art of video gaming finally catching up with my vision from 1982. Tandy Corporation AKA Radio Shack had the most advanced home computer on the market. By comparison, it’s like comparing a rock to a rocket. In the sense that, Deadpool was a real blast. I highly recommend. I highly recommend it. If for nothing else but the entertainment value alone.

Thank you to High Moon Studios, Marvel Comics, Activision, Deadpool, the X-Men, the Academy, my Mom, and whoever made the movie and everybody else I might have forgotten to thank for the use of the images in this review, for them alone all rights are reserved in perpetuity or longer.

Lead image  – By Source, Fair use,